Wildlife, gel packs & recovery drinks? Count me in.

So, I am off to my relay race tomorrow. I plan on sending out text message updates with important info like, what kind of free Powerade and gel packs they are serving, if my pig tails are a big hit, if I have runner's remorse - that kind of thing. If you check this before noon on Friday, leave a comment or text me if you are interested in being on the play by play text blast. It will be nothing short of exciting, I assure you. If you want to know more about this race go to http://www.ragnarrelay.com/wasatchback/index.php I'm runner #9 if you are so inclined to check out the course map.
Rumor has it that the wildlife in the more nature-esque part of our runs is very active at night. I have a run near Echo Reservoir around 2 a.m. let's hope I can avoid another encounter with those religious moose (see running into moose posting below).
I am a little nervous, mostly with details like:
- will I be able to see what flavor of gel pack I am consuming? I mean, if you have ever inadvertently sucked down a mocha flavored one, you know why these things weigh heavy on my mind. That's a mistake you don't want to repeat.
- will I make it to exchange point 6 in enough time to stop by Noodles & Company?
- Donuts, did anyone remember the donuts?
- Oh, and of course - making the team proud. I don't mind making an ass out of myself, but my innocent teammates are a different story.
Well, I need to be going now, the Hostess store is only open for like 5 more hours and let's face it, I have some big decisions to make. Do you think a moose is more likely to chase you down for Tiger Tails or Twinkies??
Om, Pigtails and Powerade,
Penny

Golf, sans pants, the new black

So, in order to spare all of you the clone-like entries that occur when Corbie and I participate in yet another mind blowing, laugh til you pee your pants, unison adventure we decided to collaborate and do one post on her blog. And by collaborate, I mean I was behind her yelling profanities, making up excuses, mis-using prepositional phrases and over comma-ing. Go here to see why GOLF, SANS PANTS is the latest sport taking ESPN by storm. (Patent pending, so don't get any ideas)

http://www.corbiecoy.blogspot.com/

Om and 5 irons,

Penny

3's

So, I am a little late on this. Weeks ago Corbie selected me as one of the lucky individuals to answer these thought provoking questions. Here you go party people....hold on tight.

3 joys:
- I know this is cliche, but seriously, my friends are the single biggest joy in my life. When you are fresh out of local family (and even if you aren't) your friends are important, all you've got really (well, aside from reality TV - I consider Jackie Warner a sister). And honestly, I have the best friends. I know most people think that about their friends, but people constantly agree with me on that statement. Admitting their friends aren't up to par when compared with mine!
- Freedom. Not just like - give me liberty or give me death kind of freedom, soul freedom! Where you just say, think and believe: Fuck it, I am going for joy!
- Reading
- And try not to throw up in your mouth here: I love my job. I know, sick right?

3 fears:
- Hmmmm, I think mine always come down to not being enough. Which is odd, because I am capable of attaining "more than enough" most of the time, but every now again, you come across your 2nd grade class picture and think, I am just not enough exactly as I am......

- I have a fear of making the wrong decision and regretting it. However, at this point, I go for making the best possible decision for the time being, what more can you do, really.

3 goals:
-Say what I want, when I want. NO, not just telling people off! It works in the opposite direction as well, telling people I love them, I need them, they are important to me......even if it makes me feel vulnerable
- Live authentically, from my heart, with love, laughter, gratitude and courage
- Write a memoir, book or a collection of fabricated stories (you get my point here) with Corbie. You know, something along the David Sedaris line....
3 current obsessions:
Well, see above - I am pretty much obsessed with chasing laughter, grounding, peace, love, courage, authenticity and seriously, writing a best seller with Corbie. Even if it's only a best-seller in her mom's eyes.

3 random surprising facts about me:
-I read the wedding announcements in the NY Times. Seriously funny shit in there. I had no idea people had three first names, two middle names and four last names. And they take themselves SO seriously. Really, if/when I get married I am so taking out one of those. I can see it now, Penny Frates....ummm let's see, first problem - I need more names, second problem? My blue collar upbringing (is there a collar below blue? That was for you YPC, hahahaha). I mean seriously, what are we going to say? No Dr.'s, Dentists or Attorney's in the family. Please wish her and her beloved a lifetime of happiness and poor math skills? Only in the Times.....
-If I brush my teeth with Cristin, I gag. So does she. We have literally thrown up in bathrooms all around the Valley in trying to keep up our fantastic oral hygiene habits.
-I went to Catholic school. And no, I don't have any of the plaid skirts in my possession. Perverts.

So, there you have it. A little insight to all the joy that is Penny!
Om and The NY Times,
Penny Lane Frates, III
(right, like there are three of us out there somewhere...)

Running into moose, quite literally

So, if you have read the good friends and food post you'll remember that I have a relay race coming up in a week. In an out of character move, I decided to actually run a few times before the race - crazy I know. I think we could actually call it training if I did it with any sort of regularity.....So, cut to me out running the big hill that will serve as my last leg in the relay. It's a nice morning, well nice if I weren't running uphill but that is beside the point. The weather is nice, everything is green, the birds are singing, I am repeating the "f" word over and over as my personal mantra to try and get up this hill, in short, things are going swimmingly. I come around a blind corner, especially made blind by the fact that my head is down (I can't bring myself to look up and see that I have more climbing to do), what do I see? Two moose. I was startled to say the least, slipped on the loose dirt and fell. Quite literally running into the moose. Not to worry, I managed to get an F bomb out while falling to, what seemed to me, a moose trampling death. As luck would have it, these two beasts must have been religious - my filthy sailor mouth was enough to scare the hell out of them and they took off. Not before I managed to snap off this picture on my phone. I had to include it here because people are always on my case for not taking more pictures. Well, here is why. I pretty much took a picture of the ground. If you look closely however, you'll see one of the moose on the run - trying in vain to escape my vulgarities. There are two very valuable lessons here:

1- training can be dangerous, it is much safer to sit on the couch and eat donuts and just visualize the race

2- I need to sign up for a photography class, stat

Okay, that is all for now. It's been awhile since the last blog so I am just baby stepping back into it.

Om and the Mangy Moose,

Penny

When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us?

So, I woke up this morning thinking about people's definition of a soulmate (and yes, I am aware that "soul mate" is two words, I've had loads of coffee and skipped breakfast, at this point Merriam - Webster can bite me). When I hear people talking about finding their soulmate, as if there is just one and as if it must come in the form of a lover, I silently wish them the awareness to look around at the people they have loved, despised, married, divorced, hired, fired, laughed with, slept with, fought with, grown with - and recognize they have had many soulmates. I know what you are thinking, pretty deep for 6 am right? If only I had a way to let you all in on the random thoughts running through my head at any given time, maybe "Truman Show" style or something.....Anyway, it got me thinking about my sister, Melanie. If any of you have the pleasure of knowing Mel, you know what an amazing person she is. If any of you have had the pleasure of seeing us together, well you know why finding the perfect man, settling down and living the American dream has never been a priority for me. I have all the love I need! While many people I know spend their lives looking for that ONE person who makes them laugh, love, give, take, risk, wait, cry, expose, share, leap, stretch, withdraw, contemplate, I have been fortunate enough to have someone like that by my side from the moment I came into this world. My sister is my biggest fan, yet knows when to behave like my biggest rival. She is my voice when I have lost mine, my power when I give mine away, my compassion when I am blinded by anger, my vulnerability when I can't allow myself to appear weak (which, let's face it, is 99% of the time), and my nurturer when I have convinced myself I am not enough. She celebrates my victories, no matter how small they may be. She celebrates my failures, no matter how big they may be. I can't imagine my life without her, I cant imagine this world without the love and light she brings to it! Thank you for helping me become the person I was, the person I am and the person I will be. I love you peanut butter jelly time!

May
p.s. for more on Melanie, look to the links on the left!

Ice Cream Cones for Dogs - A Dangerous Mission

So, I open my inbox this morning and here is a story from my friend Chris, a hunkish young lad. I don't have his permission to reprint the story yet, but I'll risk it. From reading his story you will see a small portion of the amusement park ride that is Chris. He is hilarious, witty, smart, creative and I dare say deep. He lives a great life, centered around joy and baseball! I am lucky to call him a friend....so without further delay, let's listen to Chris live out his instant Karma:

last night I was driving home from downtown and decided that the dogs needed a treat.

so I stopped at McDonalds to get them ice cream cones

was in the drive-up window to pay and the car in front of me just drove into the damn building.

of course, I said, "wtf!" and was laughing my ass off at the dumb shit in front of me.

so I get the cones, drive to my house and pull in the driveway. Grab my ipod and the cones and get out of the car to come inside.

and the friggin car starts rolling down the hill of the driveway .. straight backwards to a car parked on the street. I threw the cones down and ran after it, opening the door and jamming the break just, just!
before it did some serious damage.

turns out the genius here had forgotten to put the damn jeep in park.. and just got out!

karma for laughing at the guy at McDonalds??

Chris

If I die, dont bury me at all.
Just pickle my bones in alcohol.
Put a bottle of beer at my feet and head.
If I dont drink, you'll know I'm dead.

Poles and Pigtails

god bless America, where else would a girl be able to use the words poles and pigtails in the same fragmented sentence. For those of you who haven’t heard(which would be next to impossible, between Corbie’s bullhorn voice and our blog entries I think EVERYONE has heard….or if you are that lucky someone that keeps receiving random, self-deprecating emails from me) it’s YPC! The Year of Penny and Corbie (for more details, visit Corb’s blog – link on the left) and tonight we marked an item off of our “to do” list. You guessed it! Pole Dancing! It’s late (by my standards) and my forearms are sore, you can’t, after all, spin around a pole for an hour and walk away unscathed! There will be bruising my friends, oh yes. For now, I will let the photos below speak for themselves…..After I ice and elevate, I may type a little more…..

Om and The Fireman (pole move we learned tonight),

Penny

Corbie & I doing double time on the pole



I realize that this is not a flattering picture of me,
really though, how could I resist? My pigtails are acutally catching air!!




This is us before the class even started.....naturals I tell ya, naturals.
The best part of it all is that you can actually enlarge the photos if you are so inclined to count our pores. What the hell? How do you remove that feature? God I love making an ass out of myself......